you must be insania!
by AkumA9
Summary: Harry takes a new approach in trying to win Cho back. Comedy. (maybe OotP spoilers)


"...It's just going to have to be him, Harry."  
  
Harry Potter, a sixteen year old wizard in his sixth year at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, was in an even stranger situation than normal. Stood, half naked, in the Griffyndor girls' dormitories being poked and prodded by Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood, both of whom were giggling too much for his liking. Both insecure about his slight frame that he was sure was the source of the girls amusement and paranoid that someone else might walk in, he was in a considerably bad mood. There was also the fact that he had never felt so ridiculous in his life.  
  
"Do you know all the words by now?" Luna's dreamy blue eyes scanned a piece of parchment that Harry was holding.  
  
"Sort of" he replied, shying away from Hermione's hands that were attempting to recreate his rebellious mop of hair into something reminiscent of..  
  
"Yes he knows all the words. Most people that have ever lived in the muggle world do..." Hermione answered for him, a distinct tone of what's-the-world-coming-to? in her voice.  
  
In miserable disbelief, Harry didn't reply. He hadn't seen his reflection for the last hour and between then and now, Hermione and Luna, two of his best friends, had been doing their best with various gels and creams to transform him. He felt slighted, robbed of his masculinity and downright embarassed. Thank god Ron was not around to see this. He was outside training with the Griffyndor Quidditch team, where Harry would have liked to be. However, since he had been prohibited from Quidditch in his fifth year, Ginny Weasley had replaced him as seeker on their team. He now spent most of his evenings (when the weather conditions were right for quidditch) with Hermione and Luna. Bitterly he found himself thinking that perhaps, should he still be occupied with training every evening, he would never have allowed himself to be talked into this.  
  
"And....VOILA!" Hermione stood back to admire her handiwork. "What do you think, Luna?"  
  
The girls stood and considered him for a minute. "There's still something missing, I know..."  
  
"You're too skinny, Harry. It just doesn't work..."  
  
"Maybe there's a spell we can use to sort of...fix the problem." Hermione's answer to everything lay either in magic or books.  
  
Peering at himself in the mirror he could see what they meant. He had always been thin, and the outlines of his ribcage protruding slightly through his pale skin made him more than self conscious. His dark jeans hung loosely on his hips- Hermione had not allowed him to wear a belt, claiming it would ruin the 'style'- and his hair was parted down the middle in short and utterly ridiculous curtains. His shoulders and arms were lightly coated in some kind of grease which was supposed to make him look shiny and wet but he felt gave him the appearence of both sweating and imbecilic. His face had changed to; Hermione has covered his skin in some brownish powder to make him look darker. "More mediterranean" she had said. He tensed his bicep in the mirror when he thought nobody was watching and grimaced at the pitiful line of shadow down his upper arm.  
  
"It's hopeless" he said to the girls. "This will never work. She'll laugh at me. Everyone will. I won't be surprised if they expel me."  
  
"You can't get cold feet now!" Hermione encouraged.  
  
"But what's the point if it's only going to make matters worse?"  
  
"It WON'T, it's really romantic!"  
  
"Yeah, Harry," Luna pitched in. "We found a picture of him in her dorm, It's a really good idea!"  
  
"She'll see that, you just need a bit more confidence, that's all." She looked at Harry thoughtfully. "I've got an idea. Wait right here."  
  
She dissappeared down the dormitory stairs grinning, leaving Harry and Luna alone. Luna had first come into Harry's life recently and had already shown so much loyalty to him as a friend that he had grown really quite fond of her. 'Loony' were her general nickname amongst the student body, and Harry, knowing exactly how awful it felt to be taunted like that, both pitied and liked her.   
  
"So what do you really think Luna?" He asked, not embarassed at all now.   
  
"Hmm...It's a good likeness, I must say. Even if you are a bit...well, scrawny."  
  
Immediately regretting his inquiry, he fell silent and sulked as Luna sat on the floor flicking through a muggle magazine curiously.  
  
Hermione returned after a few mintues, breathless and carrying a large bottle of something that looked suspiciously like...  
  
"Firewhisky" she said, her eyes gleaming. "Just for your nerves."  
  
Amazed by yet another exhibition of Hermione's secret rebellious streak, Harry obediantly took the bottle and opened it. His eyes watered at the strong scent it was giving off, and he immediately felt apprehensive.  
  
"Come on then, Harry. Drink up."  
  
Bright lights. Screaming girls. A pleasent dizzy sensation. Harry liked being here.  
  
Balancing himself on the microphone stand, he peered around and caught Cho Chang's eye, who was laughing incredulously. As the music started somewhere behind him, Harry started to sway obediantly to the slow rhythm of the drums, as Hermione had instructed him, taking care to wiggle sexily and stare seductively at Cho. As he opened his mouth and began to sing "mysterious girl" he caught sight of the girl sitting next to Cho. The one she shared a dorm with. The one...wearing a Peter Andre T-shirt. 


End file.
